Daddy's Girl

Richie is an amazing dad! I watch him with Tess and can't imagine a more capable and loving father. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by how gentle and sweet Richie is with Tess. It seems that so often fathers are overlooked. However, I know from experience, that fathers can have a profound influence on the life of their daughters. Tess already looks at Richie with love and adoration; you can see it in those big blue eyes of hers!

I can't wait to watch them kick the soccer ball around. Maybe she'll be an artist just like him. Whatever she chooses to do - I know that Richie will be supportive and an inspiration to her. She may look like mama but I can already see dad's sense of humor and sparkle.

Before there were three....

This weekend Richie and I have a black tie event to attend. It has been a while since the two of us have ventured out into the night without Tess. We will be dressing up; Richie had to buy a suit! It is exciting and I love having time with just Richie. However, we are already planning our escape. As long as we pick her up by 8 or 8:30 I can still rock her to sleep and she may even need one more bottle for the night. It is interesting how much your mindset changes after having a baby. Not to say I don't enjoy getting ready, doing my hair and putting on a fancy dress, but time with Tess and Richie is much more important. I would take an afternoon in sweats over an evening sitting at a fancy dinner table wondering what Tess is doing, any day. Times have changed!

Through Tess' Eyes

Tess has begun to grab things. She looks at the big plastic dragon fly that swings above her and purposely puts her hand out and takes it. It is amazing! She is developing into this little being all on her own with very little prompting from anyone else. She is her own person. She uses all her senses as she figures out the world surrounding her. It is hard to imagine that a year ago she was barely a glimmer in our eyes. Now she is all we see. She is changing every day and mesmerizes both Richie and I with her laugh and her newly found voice. Even at four months old she seems to want to say something. She is excited to wake up in the morning, greeting us with smiles and accounts of her dreams. When we get home after long days at work she wants to share the events of her day; all of it filled with laughter and enthusiasm. I hope that her eyes stay happy and clear and that she doesn't get jaded by the dread of Monday mornings or long days of work. Wouldn't it be wonderful to see through her eyes every once in a while?

NicMar

Nicole and I have been friends since the third grade. And here we are, more than two decades later with little girls of our own. It is absolutely amazing to me! I hope that both Tess and Ava find the friendship that Nicole and I have had. We are friends that have the ability to go months without talking and then pick up right where we left off. We have been through a lot together in our twenty year journey. Some of it comical and some of it - not so much. However, no matter what is happening in our lives I know that I can call Nicole and I hope that she knows that she can always call on me. I want Tess to have that kind of camaraderie in her life. There will be a time when she needs a friend and I hope she finds the type that will laugh and cry with her. It looks like Ava and Tess are off to a good start.

Can Lions Fly?

Anyone who has a child knows the amount of equipment that is now required to put them in a car,feed them, to carry them around - etc. What did parents do before the invention of bouncy seats, baby bjorn and boppys?!

Circa 1982: There is a picture of me, probably at about the age of 1 or 2 sitting in what seemed to be a stroller. It was this sort of box with two holes where my little legs stuck out of - no straps or head support. Then there was the metal car seat my parents put me in after a long hot summer afternoon at the mall. Needless to say, I fell asleep. As my head slumped forward I grazed the metal and burned my cheek. My mom feels horrible to this day. In their defense, they were from Minnesota. How were they supposed to know that the inside of a car can reach 200 degrees within a very short period of time. Not to mention, who makes a metal car seat in Arizona!?

Present Day: Our house is now full of swings, bouncers, cribs, pack n' plays and everything baby. It is amazing the amount of "stuff" such a little girl can accumulate. I must say it does make things convenient. Tess can sit in her bouncy seat while I get ready; putting on make-up, blow drying my hair and getting dressed. While I make dinner she swings, entertaining herself with the stuffed lion and elephant that hang above her head. I fear she is going to believe that all huge creatures fly! HA HA.

Milestones

I stared at the baby monitor for almost an hour on Friday night before falling asleep. Prior to that Richie and I tiptoed periodically into her room just to make sure she was okay. She was absolutely fine, her little hands curled up by her face as she slept soundly, unaware of the anxiety felt by mom and dad. It seems that having her sleeping next to me was almost more of a comfort for Richie and I than her! It was nice to know that we were all together, safe, in one room. I could hear her sighs of content as she drifted off to sleep with out the distortion of the monitor. She was within an arms length of me - always. I am realizing these moments(milestones) have just begun! We are slowly going to have to let Tess be Tess; independent and strong. On the flip side we are going to have learn to let go and be strong too!

"The Ever Living Ghost of What Once Was"

"No One's Ever Going To Love You As Much As I Do..." - Band of Horses

I play this song for Tess in hopes that someday she realizes the love and adoration that seeps in and out of every pore of my body and soul.

They tell you that having a child will change your life and that it is "the best thing that has ever happened to me." And truly, I have to say that, although a cliche, the words ring true. Not only is she more than Richie and I could have ever dreamed, she has the power to make this complicated and somewhat scary world, beautiful and peaceful. The chaos and the constant hum of everyday annoyances seem less loud and less important.

Her big blue eyes and sweet smile often remind me of my dad. She looks deep and she listens carefully. I see his life and legacy in her and it makes me feel a connection to him that I haven't felt since he died. She is truly a blessing from God.