Milestones

I stared at the baby monitor for almost an hour on Friday night before falling asleep. Prior to that Richie and I tiptoed periodically into her room just to make sure she was okay. She was absolutely fine, her little hands curled up by her face as she slept soundly, unaware of the anxiety felt by mom and dad. It seems that having her sleeping next to me was almost more of a comfort for Richie and I than her! It was nice to know that we were all together, safe, in one room. I could hear her sighs of content as she drifted off to sleep with out the distortion of the monitor. She was within an arms length of me - always. I am realizing these moments(milestones) have just begun! We are slowly going to have to let Tess be Tess; independent and strong. On the flip side we are going to have learn to let go and be strong too!

"The Ever Living Ghost of What Once Was"

"No One's Ever Going To Love You As Much As I Do..." - Band of Horses

I play this song for Tess in hopes that someday she realizes the love and adoration that seeps in and out of every pore of my body and soul.

They tell you that having a child will change your life and that it is "the best thing that has ever happened to me." And truly, I have to say that, although a cliche, the words ring true. Not only is she more than Richie and I could have ever dreamed, she has the power to make this complicated and somewhat scary world, beautiful and peaceful. The chaos and the constant hum of everyday annoyances seem less loud and less important.

Her big blue eyes and sweet smile often remind me of my dad. She looks deep and she listens carefully. I see his life and legacy in her and it makes me feel a connection to him that I haven't felt since he died. She is truly a blessing from God.