Truly Thankful

Richie and I just celebrated our first Thanksgiving with Tess. It was so much fun! She is walking and almost talking and enjoys being in the limelight. She makes us laugh. We feel truly thankful for all that we have in life but most of all for our beautiful precious baby girl. I don't think there has been a time in either of our lives that we have felt more grateful. As this holiday season gets into full swing I know that it won't be like any other holiday before. The true meaning of this special time has never seemed more important.

Time

"Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions." ~ John Randolph

I haven't written for a while. I have been waiting for the right moment or the right picture to post. In doing so, I have come to the realization that there is just not enough time. For the past month I have been feeling as though time is a scary ride that I can't stop and I can't get off of.

Tess will be a year old in just about two months (which also means Christmas is just around the corner)! I almost can't believe it. It is exciting and wonderful and thrilling. However, it also makes me feel a bit melancholy. I can't seem to catch up!
She is at daycare more than she is at home. Someone else is caring for her and soothing her and making her laugh more than either Richie or I are able to. She sees us two hours in the morning and maybe two hours in the evening.

Tess is at the top of my list, and she is the reason I do what I do, but unfortunately life calls and I feel like I am trying to squeeze my family into everything else that beckons my attention. It is very frustrating and somewhat overwhelming. There are days that when I drop Tess off, my eyes fill with tears for a moment. I just want time with her. It has all already gone by so quickly. I don't want to miss a moment with her.

However, I do know that all the work Richie and I do and the hours we put in is for her. And someday she will realize that too. We want her to have all that this world has to offer and that does not come easy or without sacrifice.

Look out world! Here she comes!

She's babbling, she's crawling, she's pulling herself up and she's even driving her very own pink Jeep Renegade! Ha ha!
In two weeks Tess will be 9 months and I am in disbelief as to how fast she has grown and all that she is able to do now! It is going by almost too fast. I want to capture every moment and put it in a jar. But, as much as I will miss her being a baby, I am so excited to hear her first word and to see her take her first step, all of which is just around the corner! We will keep you all updated as much as possible. It is so hard to keep up at this point. It seems as though she is changing and growing from week to week and sometimes even from day to day!

Can't Get Better Than This!

This past weekend we celebrated my 29th birthday at the Loews Ventana Canyon Resort. It was also our first "staycation". It was by far the best birthday weekend I have had in a long time. We went to the pool, we ate by the pool, we made messes that we didn't have to clean up and that I didn't nag Richie about (lol). But, best of all, we were able to just be together - all three of us. Some were sort of surprised that we spent a weekend at a posh resort with Tess. However, we would not have had it any other way! She only added to the fun and excitement! Like everything else in life since Tess, my birthday, was by far better than it was last year or the year before. Nonetheless, I have to admit - it hit me today, that I am headed down the last year of my 20s!

4th of July Parade

We kicked off the 4th of July holiday with our annual neighborhood parade. However, I must say, this is the first time we have participated. In the past we watched the parade walk by and maybe even waved. This year felt different, as most events do since the arrival of Tess. Richie and I found ourselves giggling and having a great time as we walked in a herd of red white and blue around the block with a fire truck as the grand finale! Tess enjoyed herself too. She smiled and laughed as she and Richie stood under the rain of water coming down. The firemen hooked up their hose to the hydrant and sprayed the entire parade of kids, parents and dogs.

We have already started to plan the outfit Tess might wear next year in the spirit of the holiday.

Father's Day; Every Day

Last Sunday we celebrated Richie's first Father's Day. Unfortunately, he spent a lot of it on the couch. As many of you know, he plays soccer at least once a week and last weekend while playing outdoor soccer he threw his back out and was unable to stand upright for a couple of days. I keep reminding him he is 31 not 25! LOL! Nonetheless he definitely deserved a day to nap and relax.

From the moment we found out I was pregnant until today, Richie has been an incredible father and husband (both of which I believe go hand in hand). He went to every ob/gyn appointment and made me feel beautiful even when the scale tipped at least 20 lbs. over his own weight! He would smile at me and say "That's good! You are doing what you should be as a pregnant lady!" When I didn't want to eat anything but cereal, he made his own dinner and when I craved something in particular he made sure I got it, even if it was something he did not want. He lifted things for me, switched out the laundry as it got harder and harder to lean over and he didn't roll his eyes when I "nagged" about cleaning or getting things done around the house. He finished Tess' nursery (just in time I might add) and I have to say - it is exactly what I had envisioned in my mind's eye!

Once Richie realized the time had come on that cold Christmas morning he was by my side the entire time. I never felt more in love with him than I did that day. Not only had he created with me the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen, but he proved himself to be my very best friend! When we got home, I was very sore and unable to move very well. He had to do a lot of the work and when I had a difficult time with breast feeding he stood up for me and did all he could to make me feel ok about my decisions. All of these things helped me be a better mother and I know I could not have done it without him.

Tess is 6 months old today! It is hard to believe! The three of us have so much fun together that the time has just flown by. Tess is a happy, sweet soul and I know that it is because she comes from love and laughter and happiness, but most of all because she has got Richie as her father!

Hats and Headbands

This is Tess wearing a headband. She looked adorable!



Tess in Dad's hat. We got a kick out of it and she did too!

More to come.....

This weekend was again filled with firsts for Tess!

She got her first runny nose and cough. This one hasn't been so pleasant. However, once again, she amazes me. Her bright blue eyes, although foggy, shine as she smiles when she wakes up, eats, bathes and plays. Richie and I are more bothered by her discomfort than even she is.

She also sat up on her own. She kind of fell back into Richie after a few moments, but she did it. She sat without any support! Our baby girl is growing up!

She is eating baby food and loves to hold the spoon. It makes me laugh every time I feed her.

She is the highlight of our day! I look forward to all that is to come! She is changing so fast!

God Bless Tess

Richie and I laughed as we ordered Tess' baptism cake; "God Bless Tess" on a 10 inch round cake adorned with pastel flowers and filled with raspberry deliciousness. I am still licking the frosting almost every time I open the fridge!
All giggles aside, we do wish Tess all the blessings of this world. She has already been blessed with two very special godparents, Richie's brother Frank and his sister Janet. We know that even outside the walls of St. Cyril's church, Frank and Janet will love and guide Tess. We couldn't ask for more. They are true examples of what it is to be good, kind and loving people.
Ultimately we want Tess to know that beyond the arms of mom and dad there are other people that love her and want her to be happy and healthy. She is never alone.

God Bless Tess!

A Weekend Filled with Firsts....

Tess' first time going swimming!

Our first Mother's Day together!

Tess' first trip to the zoo combined with her first birthday party.

Pushing Back Tears

I sat up the other night after watching the 10 o'clock news - pushing back tears. The thought of all the horror that is out there scares me more than it ever has before. From pandemics to war to lost children - it is terrifying. How do I protect Tess without smothering her? It seems that after having Tess I have come to realize more and more how fragile people are. I pray every day that humanity can turn itself around - not only for Tess, but for any innocence that is left in this world.

Daddy's Girl

Richie is an amazing dad! I watch him with Tess and can't imagine a more capable and loving father. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by how gentle and sweet Richie is with Tess. It seems that so often fathers are overlooked. However, I know from experience, that fathers can have a profound influence on the life of their daughters. Tess already looks at Richie with love and adoration; you can see it in those big blue eyes of hers!

I can't wait to watch them kick the soccer ball around. Maybe she'll be an artist just like him. Whatever she chooses to do - I know that Richie will be supportive and an inspiration to her. She may look like mama but I can already see dad's sense of humor and sparkle.

Before there were three....

This weekend Richie and I have a black tie event to attend. It has been a while since the two of us have ventured out into the night without Tess. We will be dressing up; Richie had to buy a suit! It is exciting and I love having time with just Richie. However, we are already planning our escape. As long as we pick her up by 8 or 8:30 I can still rock her to sleep and she may even need one more bottle for the night. It is interesting how much your mindset changes after having a baby. Not to say I don't enjoy getting ready, doing my hair and putting on a fancy dress, but time with Tess and Richie is much more important. I would take an afternoon in sweats over an evening sitting at a fancy dinner table wondering what Tess is doing, any day. Times have changed!

Through Tess' Eyes

Tess has begun to grab things. She looks at the big plastic dragon fly that swings above her and purposely puts her hand out and takes it. It is amazing! She is developing into this little being all on her own with very little prompting from anyone else. She is her own person. She uses all her senses as she figures out the world surrounding her. It is hard to imagine that a year ago she was barely a glimmer in our eyes. Now she is all we see. She is changing every day and mesmerizes both Richie and I with her laugh and her newly found voice. Even at four months old she seems to want to say something. She is excited to wake up in the morning, greeting us with smiles and accounts of her dreams. When we get home after long days at work she wants to share the events of her day; all of it filled with laughter and enthusiasm. I hope that her eyes stay happy and clear and that she doesn't get jaded by the dread of Monday mornings or long days of work. Wouldn't it be wonderful to see through her eyes every once in a while?

NicMar

Nicole and I have been friends since the third grade. And here we are, more than two decades later with little girls of our own. It is absolutely amazing to me! I hope that both Tess and Ava find the friendship that Nicole and I have had. We are friends that have the ability to go months without talking and then pick up right where we left off. We have been through a lot together in our twenty year journey. Some of it comical and some of it - not so much. However, no matter what is happening in our lives I know that I can call Nicole and I hope that she knows that she can always call on me. I want Tess to have that kind of camaraderie in her life. There will be a time when she needs a friend and I hope she finds the type that will laugh and cry with her. It looks like Ava and Tess are off to a good start.

Can Lions Fly?

Anyone who has a child knows the amount of equipment that is now required to put them in a car,feed them, to carry them around - etc. What did parents do before the invention of bouncy seats, baby bjorn and boppys?!

Circa 1982: There is a picture of me, probably at about the age of 1 or 2 sitting in what seemed to be a stroller. It was this sort of box with two holes where my little legs stuck out of - no straps or head support. Then there was the metal car seat my parents put me in after a long hot summer afternoon at the mall. Needless to say, I fell asleep. As my head slumped forward I grazed the metal and burned my cheek. My mom feels horrible to this day. In their defense, they were from Minnesota. How were they supposed to know that the inside of a car can reach 200 degrees within a very short period of time. Not to mention, who makes a metal car seat in Arizona!?

Present Day: Our house is now full of swings, bouncers, cribs, pack n' plays and everything baby. It is amazing the amount of "stuff" such a little girl can accumulate. I must say it does make things convenient. Tess can sit in her bouncy seat while I get ready; putting on make-up, blow drying my hair and getting dressed. While I make dinner she swings, entertaining herself with the stuffed lion and elephant that hang above her head. I fear she is going to believe that all huge creatures fly! HA HA.

Milestones

I stared at the baby monitor for almost an hour on Friday night before falling asleep. Prior to that Richie and I tiptoed periodically into her room just to make sure she was okay. She was absolutely fine, her little hands curled up by her face as she slept soundly, unaware of the anxiety felt by mom and dad. It seems that having her sleeping next to me was almost more of a comfort for Richie and I than her! It was nice to know that we were all together, safe, in one room. I could hear her sighs of content as she drifted off to sleep with out the distortion of the monitor. She was within an arms length of me - always. I am realizing these moments(milestones) have just begun! We are slowly going to have to let Tess be Tess; independent and strong. On the flip side we are going to have learn to let go and be strong too!

"The Ever Living Ghost of What Once Was"

"No One's Ever Going To Love You As Much As I Do..." - Band of Horses

I play this song for Tess in hopes that someday she realizes the love and adoration that seeps in and out of every pore of my body and soul.

They tell you that having a child will change your life and that it is "the best thing that has ever happened to me." And truly, I have to say that, although a cliche, the words ring true. Not only is she more than Richie and I could have ever dreamed, she has the power to make this complicated and somewhat scary world, beautiful and peaceful. The chaos and the constant hum of everyday annoyances seem less loud and less important.

Her big blue eyes and sweet smile often remind me of my dad. She looks deep and she listens carefully. I see his life and legacy in her and it makes me feel a connection to him that I haven't felt since he died. She is truly a blessing from God.